Equals Three
by Tokyosketch
Summary: So maybe Law's being kind of an idiot.


**Equals Three**

"All I'm saying," Law fumbles with the stethoscope around his neck, "Fuck. All I'm saying is that it's not normal. I mean, they've gotta be faking some of them, right? No two people should be able to have that many orgasms in such a short amount of time."

Shachi stares levelly at him for a second before taking a sip from his shitty hospital coffee. Law feels like he's in a bad sitcom.

"They're in their teenage crush love phase," Shachi says wisely, shrugging. "Give 'em a few months, they'll get over themselves."

"A few _months_? Shachi, they have been together for almost _three__years_. If anything, they've gotten worse. It's- it's like they keep discovering new dicks they've got to try out."

"That doesn't even make sense," Shachi rolls his eyes genially. "But you know what _would _make sense? Moving out. Getting your own place. Isn't it a little weird that Kid and Luffy have been together this long and still share a two-bedroom with you?"

"_None _of it makes sense and all of it is weird," Law grumbles petulantly, "It's just. It's convenient this way. Like, we all get along and shit just fine, so why pay more in rent? It's just the non-stop humping that"-

"The non-stop humping I've been non-stop hearing about for, as you love reminding me, the last three years. Seriously, dude, just buy some earplugs or something if you don't wanna move out, and stop whining. You're worse than Penguin." He doesn't actually sound pissed, but he has a point. Law should maybe be putting more effort into expanding his conversational repertoire.

"No one is worse than Penguin," he mutters.

x x x

So maybe Law's being kind of an idiot. Sure, he makes enough at the hospital that he could probably afford a studio without too much hassle, and he definitely dreams of a day when he won't have to think about why the new thing of syrup he just bought is suddenly almost empty but the Eggos haven't been touched. But at the same time, he's paying cheap rent and he lives with his two best friends, who, when they aren't having loud sex, are pretty great. The thought of losing their stupid little routines, the quirks and ticks that spent the last few years turning themselves into comfortable patterns, makes Law's stomach drop uncomfortably.

He'd actually expected to move out when Kid and Luffy had gone all googoo-eyed and blushingly announced that they are together (he still cracks up when he thinks of the dopey look on Kid's face when he told Law). When he'd finally mentioned it, though, all blase like he'd practiced, they'd both kind of blinked at him confusedly.

"Why would we kick you out?" Kid had asked, looking genuinely bewildered. "I mean, if you want to move out I guess we can see about subletting the second bedroom, but that'd just be weird..."

Luffy was more direct. "Don't leave me! I won't let you!" he'd whined, and Law got to spend the next couple of minutes with his own personal human limpet.

"Oh my god, you're like a fucking barnacle. A big, loud, attention-seeking barnacle. Don't you have a boyfriend you can harass?" But he'd been laughing, too relieved to put any real heart into freeing himself.

And that had been that. And all was good.

But then it started.

The sex.

"Just because Luffy has finally found his sex-drive _doesn't mean the whole block has to hear about it_," he'd finally yelled through the wall. There'd been a merciful pause, during which Law almost dared to hope, but then raucous, muffled laughter before the noises had resumed. Louder than before, if possible.

So he'd bought some new headphones. He blew half a paycheck on those nifty little overpriced noise-cancelling earbuds at Best Buy, only to find out that night that while they did indeed block out sound, there was nothing at all that Lou Reed could do to muffle the rhythmic thuds reverberating through the wall into his bed frame.

After awhile, it had turned into a joke between them. Well, a weird, semi-creepy joke that probably left everyone (except maybe Luffy) feeling a little confused about their life choices, but regardless.

"Oh my god," Law finally called through the wall one night after Kid's third "_I'm gonna- I'm almost- ...Fucknevermind, keep going._"

"God, Luffy, you should know by now where the prostate is!" he had yelled and then, pounding his fist against the wall to grab their attention, "A little to the left, for christs sake. Some of us have work in the morning."

Some muffled snickering and a handful of arrhythmic thuds later there'd been the unmistakable sound of orgasms, followed by Luffy's voice through the wall, singsonging, "Thanks for the tip, Law! You are the best!"

"I hate you both," Law had mumbled, burying his face in his pillow and informing himself that any halfway-wood he may have been experiencing was purely circumstantial. Like a contact high or something.

Or Stockholm Syndrome. ...Stockholm boner. Yeah.

It still took a while to fall asleep.

x x x

He's learned to live with it. Actually, after a few months of desensitization, he can usually even sleep through it most nights. That is, until he's jarred awake by a particularly loud _THUD _against the wall, right at face-level, followed by Luffy's voice, low and gasping. "Fuck- Fuck, Kid, yeah, right there. Right th-_yeah_, harder, harder, c'mon, oh _fuck_yes."

He seriously didn't need to know that Luffy was demanding as fuck even when it comes to sex.

Maybe it's because he's still mostly asleep. Maybe it's because he's had it up to fucking _here _with this shit. Maybe it's because he's Trafalgar fucking Law and so help him, he needs to prove a point every once in awhile. Regardless, his boxers are down around his knees before he really realizes what he's doing, and wow; wow, he is really hard. Embarrassingly so, even, if he were awake enough to give a fuck.

He wraps a hand around his cock, not bothering with preamble and starts stroking himself hard. The noises in the adjoining bedroom show no signs of letting up, so it's just a minute or two before Law lets out a low moan.

When no reaction seems forthcoming, he tries again, louder, slowing his hand and bucking up into his fist, toes curling involuntarily in the twisted sheets and knee knocking into the dividing wall.

Next door, there is a distinct pause.

Law uses it to his advantage and moans again, hips stuttering as he speeds up. _It's not weird it's not weird it's not weird _he chants silently to himself, over and over again, and then distracts his own inner monologue with an only half-voluntary "_Fuck, yeah_" as his fingers tease over the head of his cock.

There are the unmistakable sounds of muffled conversation, a slightly frantic giggle, and then the thumping picks back up against the wall next to Law's head. Law shifts over a couple of inches closer to the wall, so his knee hits it every time his hips buck up. He's getting close, letting the broken stream of gasps and expletives crescendo until he comes, curling in on himself and giving the wall a good kick for emphasis before collapsing back onto the mattress.

Next door, through a post-climax haze he can hear Kid's voice, a deeper, unintelligible rumble that's quickly drowned by Luffy's sweet and high whine.

Law waits a few seconds to make sure things have quieted down before pressing his face deliberately to the wall where he knows Kid's head is, separated from him by about five inches of plaster and insulation. His heart is still racing, though it's probably more nerves and less orgasm at this point. Shit, that might have been a really bad idea. He's wide awake now, and can already feel the uncomfortable beginnings of self-doubt picking at the edges of his mind. He has to get up in a few hours and make coffee and get ready for work, and Kid at least is usually up before he leaves. What are they going to say after this? Anything? Maybe they can all just pretend it never happened and Law can quietly panic for a couple of weeks before moving on with his life. His life, where he gets to listen to his room mates have really loud, really hot sex every night that- at this point there's no denying it- has become some kind of unholy major turn-on for him.

Law's life sucks. Denial was way more fun.

x x x

"Dude, you look like shit run over twice." Penguin's peering at him over his patient charts.

"Doctors shouldn't say 'shit'," Law throws back from where he's leaning against the white hospital wall.

Penguin snorts "You're a doctor and you say 'shit' all the time."

"I'm _a surgeon_," Law corrects him, pushing back from the wall and glaring haughtily at Penguin. Or, he hopes he looks haughty. He mostly feels tired and headachey, since he only managed a couple more hours of sleep after the- that- ...that _thing_ that happened. He'd woken up forty minutes early and it had taken him a moment or two lying in bed trying to remember why his nerves seemed to think they needed to be freaking out about something. Twenty minutes later he'd been up, showered, dressed, and out the door on the way to the bus stop, nevermind that it was barely even light out. He'd had to spend almost an hour sitting in the Starbucks across the street, waiting for his shift to start. "Surgeons can get away with swearing. Pediatricians are supposed to say things like 'darn' and wear grandpa sweaters. So I guess you're halfway there."

Penguin looks unimpressed. "I'm glad you seem to have everything all figured out. Seriously though, dude. Were you out partying with Shachi and them last night? He texted me at like, four, saying they were going for diner food. Fucker," he adds, genially.

"Nah." Law shrugs, "Just had a hard time sleeping."

"Oh- _oh_," Penguin says, smirking. "Man, seriously? Do those two ever stop?"

"_No_," grumbles Law, feelingly, though there's a new little prickle of something else in his chest as he says it. "You'd think their dicks would have fallen off by now from overuse or something."

"Hi, ma'am!" Penguin says loudly, and for a second Law is completely lost before he turns around and notices the scandalized looking elderly woman standing behind him, flowers in her hands.

There's a dangerous moment where he almost cracks up, but summons his composure and smiles blandly up at her. "You can get a vase downstairs at the main check," he points.

She affords them both a look of greatest disdain- Law's actually a little jealous- and meanders off toward the staircase. As soon as she's gone, Penguin snorts a laugh into his hand and Law can't hide a smile as well.

The way Luffy sounded like when he came, at least for a moment, forgotten.

x x x

If he were somebody else, Law's anxiety might have abated by the time he gets home that night. If he were someone more like Luffy, maybe he'd have gotten distracted ten minutes after getting out of bed by, like, a weird fucking bug or something, and after that all lesser conflicts would have abated in the face of 'Do I have Lucky Charms or french toast sticks for breakfast? _How do I even choose_?'

As it stands, however, he is, in fact, Trafalgar Law; meaning he thinks _deeply _about things. Or o_verthinks_, maybe might be the better term. He's willing to admit that this might be the case by the time he walks through the door after being so caught up in his own thoughts that he nearly missed his bus stop.

"Sup," Kid greets him from where he's messing around with his electric practice kit in the corner of the living room. He fidgets with the adjuster on the snare and gives the mesh head a couple of taps, one ear covered by an oversize studio headphone.

Law lets him concentrate for a second before replying. "Hey. You guys already eat?"

"I'm making spaghetti!" Comes Luffy's shout from the kitchen. "And you better be hungry, because the goddamn bag broke and it all fell into the water, so there's gonna be a metric fuckton of food here in a sec."

"And he kisses his mother with that mouth," Kid says loudly in the direction of the kitchen.

"I kiss your dick with it, too, douchebag, and I don't hear you complaining!" Luffy yells back cheerfully. Law briefly wonders how long it would take him to freeze to death if he just went back outside and stood there. It's January in the Midwest, it could totally happen. But it would probably take a while, and Kid would probably come outside and give him shit as he waited for the hypothermia to set in.

With a resigned sigh, Law starts to unwind his scarves, hanging up his coat and following Kid into the kitchen to help with dinner.

Things are surprisingly un-awkward. Or, maybe it shouldn't be surprising. Maybe Law is just more self conscious than other people. Other people who are sitting around the dinner table with him, trading dick jokes and thinking they are soooo covert about their Olympic-level game of footsie that keeps getting Law kicked in the shin.

"Okay," he says, mouth still half-full of his last bite of garlic bread. "I'll take care of the dishes and then I think I'm gonna pass out. Long day and stuff." He studiously avoids their twin confused stares in favor of collecting the empty plates.

"Uh, Law? It's like, not even eight," Kid starts, confused.

"Yeah, no, I know. Just. Long day," he repeats lamely. He is actually pretty tired still, so maybe he'll be able to pass out quickly and won't have to hear the inevitable later on.

"Awh, you all right?" Luffy actually looks a little concerned, frowning up at him even while Law can see his fingers inching over Kid's thigh. The act is entirely ruined when he casually adds, "Trouble sleeping last night?"

Luffy, Law thinks, is actually a little devil.

Law tries to glare, but it probably comes off as more of a twitch, if Kid's amused flicker of a smirk is anything to go by. "Oh, nothing _unusual_," he retorts, redoubling his efforts on the glare and snatching Kid's half-empty water glass out of his hand before wandering off to the kitchen.

"I dunno," Luffy calls after him. "It was sorta weird. For awhile there, it sounded like there was an echo."

Seriously. The _devil_.

Law does the dishes and prays for death.

x x x

He wasn't lying about being tired. There are a few minutes there, lying in bed in the dark with Simon and Garfunkel waxing lyrical into his headphones about herbs, where he thinks the anxiety might keep him up, but he's out like a light before the bridge even picks up.

The next thing he knows, the playlist is over, his headphones are all tangled up i, and he's being woken up by- surprise- a steady thumping sound coming from the other bedroom.

"Nnnngh," he grumbles pathetically into his pillow, yanking up the hood of the sweatshirt he's sleeping in around his head and tugging the drawstring so it covers his face. This does a grand total of nothing but make him feel vaguely suffocated. The thumping continues, steady as a metronome. Fucking drummers.

"Kid, shit-_yeah_." Cue Luffy's helpful vocal accompaniment. Law yanks the covers up over his head. "-love it when you finger me. Love your hands, how big they are, how you can- can- _ohfuckingchrist_ yeah, yeah like that, c'mon, I want anoth"- Luffy's diatribe derails into a truly pornographic moan accompanied by a corresponding full-body thump against the wall. The moans continue.

Maybe Law's just more on edge or something, but he could swear that in the several million times he's had to listen to this, give or take, there's never been an actual _narration_.

"I wanna make you come with just my fingers," and that's Kid's voice, low and rough and unsettling on so many levels Law isn't even sure where to start. "Wanna get you off and then watch you suck my cock til I come down your throat."

Luffy makes an incomprehensible sound that can only be interpreted as wholehearted agreement. His "_yeah- yeah- yeah-_"s don't even sound like words anymore.

Law groans loudly and then immediately slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes going wide. Sure enough, after the briefest noticeable pause, Luffy's moans get louder and Kid says, "Come on. Come for me."

This is war.

The nerves and alarm bells are all still there, but he can't even pretend to himself that this isn't happening anymore; that it's not totally deliberate. Honestly, he's maybe a little relieved. He's been listening to this shit- granted, not quite this _level _of it, but still- for years now, so if Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass in there want to make this a competition, who is he to feel weird about making _them _listen to _him _for once?

His hand is in his underwear and wrapped around his dick before he hears Luffy start to come, making cute little noises, and then a long and loud moan and he's so hard he has to take a second to squeeze the base to keep from following suit. "Fuck," he breathes, and then louder, "_fuck_."

"Oh my god, Kid." Luffy sounds _wrecked_, barely audible through the wall and Law finds himself shuffling closer to hear.

"Yeah?" Kid's voice.

"_Yeah_."

He let's his hand start stroking slowly, trailing fingers down around the base of his cock, over his inner thighs and back up again. His head drops, slipping off the pillow and thunking softly against the wall and eliciting (he assumes) a quiet snicker from the other side.

There's some shuffling and then an almost comically audible gasp and a groan. "You suck at letting a guy enjoy his afterglow, you know that?"

"Huh, sorry? Did you say something after 'suck'? I kinda spaced ou-OW!" The sounds of scuffling and swearing escalate, and something about Kid's mother in the back seat of a Volkswagen before Law loses his patience.

"Oh- Oh _god_," he groans, not entirely convincingly, but it does the trick. The chaos comes to an extremely sudden stop and Law presses his face against the plaster and moans low, speeding up his hand with a few well-timed clonks of his elbow for effect.

Silence, and then, Kid's voice. "So. You were gonna suck my dick?"

Luffy cracks up loudly and Law has to stuff his free fist into his mouth to keep quiet, somewhere between wanting to follow suit and just going in there and killing them both so he can jack off in peace.

He tunes them out for a minute or two, focusing on the steady rhythm and the way his callouses from guitar are just rough enough without actually being uncomfortable. It's only when he hears Kid's hoarse gasps of encouragement that he comes back to himself and remembers what's going on. Speeding his hand up, he thrusts hard into his fist and tries to walk the fine line between bad porn sound effects and reality.

Kid seems to be having no trouble with this. Law would actually laugh at how high his voice has gone, how desperate and almost pleading, if it weren't possibly the hottest thing he's ever heard (he'll think about that in the morning and reconsider death, but right now he's busy). "Ohgodohgod yeah, yeah the tongue thing, do the- yeah," Kid's panting, just inches away. Law can even picture them, Jesus fuck, with Kid's hand tangled in Luffy's hair and Luffy's fingers digging into Kid's hips, maybe one of his hands teasing lower, stroking against-

"C'mon, fuck my mouth, I want you to." Luffy's voice sounds thick and partially muffled and that's all it takes for Law to come with a fucking _shout_, halfway bitten off out of habit and dissipating into a moan as he flops over against the wall, knuckles thunking painfully.

Beside his ear, Kid's mouth seems to be hardwired to his dick, and Law's stopped being able to distinguish actual words. Either he's a better actor than Law gives him credit for (doubtful), or Luffy is just really, really good at sucking cock.

A few seconds later, Kid drives the point home by coming with a strangled gasp; almost a hiccup. Actually, Law realizes, if he hadn't been listening to this shit for so long, he probably wouldn't have even known that's what it was. He stifles a giggle.

He's not even sure where it comes from, and it's maybe only a little bit hysterical. It's just, it's like he wasn't even aware the universe was off-balance until it wasn't anymore, and all of a sudden all he can think of is the last few years basically turning into some kind of uptight prude just to balance out his room mates. Sure, it's fun to talk about them behind their backs to Penguin and Shachi, and he has every intention of continuing to do so, but now it just seems _funny _rather than obnoxious.

And then suddenly it's all too much; it's like the dam breaks, the shark is jumped, whatever, he can't even deal with it. Before he really realizes what's happening, he's laughing so hard there are tears in the corners of his eyes and his stomach is aching and fuck, he can't even think anymore.

This is so fucked up.

On the other side of the wall he can hear echoing laughter and Kid's low rumbling voice. For a frantic second, Law almost says something, almost calls out some kind of- he doesn't know what. Taunt? Congratulations? ...Thanks? He wheezes another laugh before rolling over, burying his face in his pillow and hanging on for dear life. He's not really sure why he _doesn't _want to say something, except for how it would maybe feel a little like breaking a seal that isn't ready to be broken yet. Tearing off the band-aid too soon or something.

Luffy and Kid seem to be on the same page, their muffled giggles and snorts quieting down to a comfortable silence. Law falls asleep.

x x x

Breakfast is possibly a little weird.

Law wakes up and immediately feels the onset of nerves in the pit of his stomach, but after a few moments of talking himself down, he yanks on a pair of sweatpants and shuffles out into the kitchen. He can already smell coffee and definitely bacon, and hear voices over the sizzling of a frying pan.

"Hey," he mumbles blearily, poking around in the stack of clean dishes next to the sink for a clean mug. "Coffee ready?"

"Yup," Kid replies, saluting with his own half-drunk cup from where he's perched on the counter and sliding the creamer in Law's direction. He looks... well, he looks like Kid, so it's probably not out of the ordinary that he looks a little smug, but. Law's known him- known _them_- long enough that he can tell the difference, and he isn't quite sure how to interpret that dark little glint in Kid's eyes.

Law pours his coffee and stirs in the creamer and about five teaspoons of sugar, just for the look of disgust he knows Kid will be wearing when he looks up.

Sure enough. "You're revolting," Kid mutters.

"Your face is revolting," Luffy says distractedly from where he's poking the bacon, back still to them.

"And you're a bag of dicks," Kid fires back. "Christ, Lu, I wasn't even talking to you. Are you already developing automatic responses to the shit I say? I'm not ready to be an old married couple!" The hurt he's trying to put into his voice is completely negated when he slides off the counter and goes over to bite Luffy companionably on the shoulder, slipping a hand around Luffy's hip under the hem of his t-shirt.

"You wish I was a bag of dicks," Luffy retorts in the same idle tone, but Law can see the corner of a grin when he halfway turns to look at Kid.

"That doesn't even make sense."

"No, it totally does, because then I could"-

"Alright, I'm calling it!" Law says loudly, shoving them both aside and commandeering the spatula from Luffy. "It is too early for that bullshit and if you burn this bacon I'm going to call Shachi and have him move into your room next time you're out. And I will leave all your things on the curb. For vagrants."

Kid narrows his eyes huffily, but Luffy just insinuates himself easily between them with an innocent smile. "Awh, Law. Relax, we're just playing." The look he gives Law as he says the last word and the way he's biting his lip is anything but innocent. Law feels his cheeks color as they both just sort of stare at each other for long, dragging seconds.

Luffy is _flirting_ with him. Luffy is flirting with _him_ in front of his _boyfriend_. Law doesn't even know what to think of that. And he certainly doesn't know how to process the information that apparently a bit of flirting from Luffy is enough to get him into a state one can only call _flustered_.

Behind Luffy, Kid finally snorts and mutters, "Bacon."

Law jumps like he's been burned and immediately turns back to the stove, switching it off and fishing the only-slightly-carbonized strips out of the pan. He shoots a sheepish grin over his shoulder at Luffy, who just laughs loudly and wanders off in the direction of the dining area.

x x x

Law doesn't even make it until noon before the jitters set in. It's Saturday so there's no work, but they've got toget groceries and Law's down to his last clean socks and he told Penguin and Shachi he'd come over and play cards for awhile in the evening. And by 'play cards' it's basically understood that they'll be getting high, eating Doritos, and watching Planet Earth, but that shit's all just semantics. Like when Kid kicks Law out so he and Luffy can have a 'romantic date night', and Law comes home to the two of them passed out in front of the Aladdin credits, surrounded by empty pizza boxes.

They're not bad jitters, that's the thing. It's just... a sort of anticipatory low-level hum in his nerves, resonating all through him like electricity zipping through power lines to light up a whole city grid.

At first he feels a little weird about it, leaning lazily on the shopping cart they're taking roughly a year to fill up at Trader Joe's, Kid and Luffy bickering comfortably about the apartment's actual need for more Steak. He spends a few minutes thinking that maybe he's actually gone straight to the far end of the spectrum and now he's expecting too much; being too forward just in assuming. Then he remembers Luffy's banter this morning, and Kid's _look_. The look that hasn't entirely left him, either, even though they're standing in a brightly fluorescent-lit grocery aisle with Muzak renditions of Tom Petty songs warbling faintly though overhead speakers, and Kid just wants to know if they're out of ketchup. Law swallows twice and shakes his head no.

All of a sudden it feels like his birthday.

Or like, the day before his birthday, when he'd been a kid and caught glimpses of wrapped boxes and had known what was in them was already his, even if he didn't know exactly what it was yet.

It feels like that.

They head home and unload the groceries and Law collects his laundry. They watch some Criminal Minds. Luffy sits between them, halfway curled around Kid and pretending not to notice Law noticing him glancing over every couple of minutes. Finally, when it looks like Luffy might be about to kink his neck, Law unobtrusively shifts, crossing his legs so his knee is just barely brushing the back of Luffy's thigh. It's just enough contact that he can feel the inordinate amounts of body heat Luffy seems to radiate through the denim of his jeans, and it grounds him a little. Luffy huffs a sigh and stills, flopping contentedly against Kid's shoulder and settling down for the remainder of the episode with Kid's hand threading idly through his hair.

Evening with Shachi and company goes about as expected. That is, Law's completely baked five minutes after walking through the door and spends the next few hours in a similar state, oozing contentedly into the ratty old couch. Bepo and Jean Bart are attempting an ill-advised game of hackey sack, and their wake of destruction already spans most of the living room.

Shachi pokes Law's knee. "Sup?"

"Huh?"

"You just looked kinda out of it. Lovebirds still keeping you up at night?"

"Yeah," Law nods, without really thinking, and then bites his lip. "Yeah, but like. Whatever. Eventually their dicks will fall off and they'll be forced to like, have conversations with each other. It'll be hilarious."

Shachi snorts into his Mountain Dew. "Good plan."

"I thought so," Law agrees. He can feel the power lines humming under his skin again, or maybe it's that weird banana-flavored weed Bepo brought over, or possibly both. He prods at his forearm with a finger, wondering if it's all cords and cables and receptors under there. It'd be pretty badass to be an android, probably.

"Okay." Shachi's voice tugs him back out of his own head. "Bepo! If you guys break my shit I'm gonna throw you out!"

Law makes it home around midnight, having walked home since the bus route stopped at eleven. It's nice, though. Cold as balls, but nice, with a big, clear sky just visible between the taller buildings and the frigid wind clearing away the malingering remains of his high. By the time he gets home, his top priority in life is a glass of water, followed by maybe five more glasses of water. Then jerking off while listening to his hot room mates have a lot of noisy sex.

Law's life is actually pretty okay sometimes.

He makes a run for the kitchen and drains four glasses before even thinking about taking off his coat, finally leaving it draped neatly over the arm of the couch while he looks around for Kid and Luffy. Their bedroom door is closed, but he can hear the quiet sounds of a movie, probably playing on Kid's laptop. For a brief moment he considers wandering up and down the hall outside their door a couple of times, maybe dropping something heavy just so they'll notice he's back, but he doesn't want to come off as desperate so he settles for clattering around in the kitchen for a few minutes, putting some clean dishes away and eating a handful of crunchy Cheetos with his mouth open.

Finally, he brushes his teeth and gets into bed, shifting all the way to the edge so he can lie with his full body pressed to the cool surface of the wall, hearing the faint yet unmistakable soundtrack of Lord of the Rings. Law frowns. He distinctly remembers a conversation earlier in the week that was mainly _him _saying to _hem _that he hadn't watched the first movie in fucking forever and someone should totally download it and they could all watch it together. He distinctly remembers.

After a moment or two of deliberation, he rolls back out of bed and shuffles down to their door, tapping his fingertips against it until it opens, Kid's amused face and bed-crazy hair suddenly all he can see.

"Only if you have Popcorn," Kid crosses his arms. "And isn't it a bit late to be selling Popcorn?"

Law punches him in the arm and barges past. "I'll give you Popcorn."

On the bed, under a heap of blankets, Luffy makes an amused choking noise.

"No, please," Kid intones, passing Law and flopping back down on the bed, "come right on in."

Suddenly, the whole situation feels needlessly awkward, with Law sort of shifting from foot to foot, adrift in the middle of the room. "I just." Want to walk into traffic. "I thought we were gonna watch this movie like, tomorrow or something. With all three of us." What is he, eight? No, he was actually less awkward at eight. Maybe fourteen, then.

Luffy glances at Kid, who looks amused. Law's a little mortified. "Ugh, nevermind, I'm just going to go hit my head on something until I forget this conversation ever happened. Night!" He turns to leave.

"Law, what the hell." Luffy's crawling out of his heap of thousands blankets, sitting up, scooting over and shoving Kid and the laptop unceremoniously into the wall with a muffled protest. Luffy pats the space next to him. "C'mon. They're just about to leave the shire."

Law waffles for a second, but finally huffs and flops down next to Luffy, who immediately cuddles into him.

By the end of the movie, Law's dozing, his head lolling bonelessly onto Luffy's shoulder while his eyelids droop. He startles awake at the first jarring chords of the end credits, stretching and dropping a foot to the floor. "Ngh," he mumbles. "I'mma bed."

"Or," Luffy says, much too quickly and _much _too loudly. Kid shoots him a dubious look.

"Or," Kid takes over, and that mock-casual bullshit hasn't fooled Law since second grade. Suddenly he isn't so tired anymore. "Or you could, like. Crash in here?"

"Smooth," Luffy rolls his eyes, jabbing Kid with an elbow.

"You weren't doing any better." Kid snipes back, and Law can see this spiraling out of control before it even starts.

"Uh," he says, edging as far away from the prod-and-jab battle that seems intent on occurring without actually falling off the bed, "just so we're clear. You're asking me to sleep with you."

"Well, fuck us, mostly, but sleeping can- OW, fuck you, Eustass Kid, you know a way to ask him to have sex with us, without-"

"If I say yes, can this conversation be over?" Law asks hopefully.

"Cool!" Luffy grins, and Kid looks mortified on behalf of like, the universe, so Law decides that's as good a time as any to lean forward and kiss him.

It's a little weird at first, Law has to admit. Not bad-weird, just. Weird in the way shit gets when you have to suddenly and forcibly reevaluate basically everything you ever thought you knew about your life. But not bad-weird.

Kid is all hard edges and tastes like he's been eating M&M's after using Listerine. His hand comes up to thread fingers through the hair at the base of Law's skull, tugging, inviting him closer until Law is practically straddling his lap. He can hear himself making small, surprised-sounding noises against Kid's mouth, and his hands don't seem able to decide where they should be, fluttering halfheartedly over Kid's knees to tangle in the hem of his oversize nightshirt.

The bed shifts and then Law can feel fingertips tugging at his boxers, Luffy's warm, dry lips mouthing at his neck a second later, worrying Law's earlobe between his teeth. Law moans, breaking the kiss and pressing his forehead to Kid's for a second, breathing hard.

"You cool?" They're so close together, Law can feel Kid's lips move against his when he speaks. Luffy's hand is paused halfway around Law's hip where it had been inching under the waistband of his boxers.

"Yeah, yeah, just." Law's trying really hard not to look as wide-eyed and discombobulated as he feels, but it's proving difficult. His brain feels like it's short-circuiting, everything going all zip-pow! behind his eyes, and he knows he's grinning like an idiot. "_Yeah_."

Luffy laughs low against his ear and Law shivers, turning his head a little so Luffy's mouth can catch his, hand resuming its exploration of Law's shorts. He's hard, maybe embarrassingly so for the amount of time he's had to process, but Luffy's fingers curling around his dick are really distracting and he's having a hard time focusing on anything else.

He's kissing blindly, open-mouthed and wet with their teeth clacking and making Luffy snicker as his fingers fumble and tease around the head of Law's cock, smearing it with pre-come. "You should lose these," Luffy mumbles against the corner of Law's mouth, tugging the boxers for emphasis as he dips down to mouth along his jaw. Law's breath hitches.

"There should be a lot fewer clothes in general, I feel," Kid agrees, tugging off his own shirt and flinging it unceremoniously across the room, following it with his pajama pants before shifting himself behind Law. Law sags back against him and Kid slides hands around his waist. "C'mon."

Law makes a noise of protest when Luffy sits back, but squirms out of his boxers, making sure to grind against Kid as much as possible as he does. "Tah dah," he monotones, kicking them off in the direction of Kid's clothes. Kid bites his neck.

"Ah, fuck"- he lets himself fall back into Kid's lap, feeling Kid's swelling erection nudge against his ass and grinding back slowly onto it as Kid continues mouthing down his neck.

"_God_." Law halfway opens his eyes to see Luffy staring at them open-mouthed, halfway out of his briefs. "I mean, just. God." He seems to have forgotten what he was doing as his hand starts moving distractedly over his dick, watching Law arch back up under Kid's mouth, grinding more desperately while Kid's hands smooth over his hips, his inner thighs, fingers teasing just behind his balls.

Kid snorts a laugh, hooking his chin over Law's shoulder and trailing fingers further back. Law can feel himself quivering bowstring-taut. "Lube?" Kid prompts, and Luffy seems to come back to himself a little.

"Oh, right." Luffy leans over, rummaging in the drawer of the nightstand with one hand while the other keeps fisting lazily over his cock. He tosses the lube next to Kid's knee and then shuffles over to them, running his free hand up Law's side and leaning in against him.

"Hi, Luffy," Law can hear the smile in Kid's voice, right next to his ear. "C'mere."

They kiss over Law's shoulder, Luffy jacking himself harder, his shameless moans against Kid's lips shooting straight to Law's untouched cock and making him squirm. Kid's hands are still stroking over him, one meandering up to tease one of his nipples, tugging and chafing lazily while the other hand slips around the cup his ass, long, calloused fingers teasing between his cheeks and tracing his rim. Law's thighs are trembling with the effort of maintaining his half-kneeling pose, sweat pricking the skin of his back where he's pressed against Kid's bare chest.

Law whines when Kid's hand drops, but there's a loud _pop _a second later and he looks down to see Kid fumbling with the bottle of lube, managing to get a bunch of it on the sheets and also Law's leg in the process of slicking up his fingers. And then _fuck _it has been too long since Law's had anything like this, the painful-tight feeling coupled with the sweet dragging burn, Kid's finger pressing into him, followed almost immediately by a second. He whines low in his throat, breathing quick through his mouth and shifting, settling, readjusting to the sensations until he can press back and fuck himself against Kid's hand, head falling back against Kid's clavicle.

Luffy finally breaks the kiss to sit back and watch, still straddling Law's knees and now jerking himself off in earnest, eyes a little glazed and hair falling into them. "God, Law," he breathes, steadying himself with a hand on Law's hip and squeezing the base of his own cock for a second with a hitching moan. "Jesus fuck, you should see yourself."

"He's so tight," Kid murmurs, sucking lazily on Law's earlobe as his fingers move steadily, in and out and in again, all the way to the knuckle and then he curls them, making Law twitch and buck up. "You're so tight, Law. I wanna fuck you- wanna fuck you til you can't see straight. Feel you all hot and wet around me while Luffy sucks you off. That sound okay?"

It takes a long second for Law to realize there had been a question. "Y- yeah, fuck. _Yeah_." The English language is sorely lacking to convey the extent of his agreement on these matters. "Want you to fuck me- want you to- oh god"- He loses the last syllable as Kid curls his fingers again, hitting his prostate and sending a white flash up behind Law's eyes. "Shit, hold up a second, I don't wanna come yet," he pants, dangerously close and feeling like his spine might snap with the strain of holding back. His fingers are clutching, flexing on nothing, and Luffy uses his spare hand to grab one of Law's, guiding it around to rest on Luffy's hip.

Law catches on quickly, wrapping both hands around Luffy's thighs just below the curve of his ass and digging in, hard enough to bruise. At least he hopes so. Law wants to see the evidence later, be able to trace over his own fingerprints, maybe suck on the already sensitive skin and leave teeth marks to match.

He only realizes he's been saying all these things out loud when Luffy stutters forward, knocking into him and driving Law back hard onto Kid's fingers. His groan is bitten off as Luffy kisses him hard, coming in warm streaks over Law's stomach, his dick, his thighs. Behind him, Kid's fingers slowly slide out of him and Law whines into Luffys mouth in protest, the kisses turning lazy and sloppy as Luffy jacks himself through the comedown and then finally collapses forward, head thudding on Law's shoulder, clearly out of breath.

"Cute," Law mutters fondly, and then whines again, pressing back petulantly into Kid's lap. "C'mon, why'd you stop?"

"Demanding much?" Kid huffs, but he loops arms back around Law's waist, shifting them both to lie down, and by proxy Luffy, who flops over heavily onto the tangled heap of blankets.

"Law, you should know," Luffy says, "that Kid is a big giant buzzkill. Seriously. I think he gets off on it."

"Damn right. Harshing your afterglow one orgasm at a time. You know you love it." Luffy rolls his eyes, but looks smug, and Law snickers from where he's spooned up against Kid, reaching for Luffy to tug him closer.

Kid's fiddling with the lube again, but Law reaches down and pops the cap for him before he can make any more of a giant mess. Kid kisses his shoulder in thanks and squeezes some into his palm, and Law can feel the quick intake of breath, Kid's chest pressing against his back, when Kid slicks the lube over his cock.

Luffy kisses Law one more time wetly on the mouth before be scoots down, curling fingers around Law's knee and licking a wide stripe through his own come on Law's stomach.

"What"- Law chokes, eyes wide and hand dropping reflexively to Luffy's shoulder. "What are you..?"

"It's a thing," says Kid's voice behind him, sounding breathy and amused. "It's _Luffy's _thing. Well," he amends, "it's one of his things."

"God," says Law weakly, still staring down at Luffy, who has gone back to licking Law clean, skirting around his groin to catch the streaks across his thighs.

Law's so distracted, craning his neck trying to watch Luffy's tongue as it darts and drags over his skin, that he's caught completely off-guard by Kid's fingers spreading him open and then, almost immediately, the head of Kid's cock pressing into him. "_Fuck_," he gasps. "Yeah y_eahyes_." The _yes _dissipates as Kid inches in further, and Law's secretly grateful he's taking his time. The fingers helped, but it's still taking all of his dwindling faculties to will himself to relax around Kid, to take it until he's all the way in, pressed taut against Law's back and breathing hotly into his ear. Luffy's paused, lips slick and parted and staring up at Law's face with wide, hungry eyes. He looks at him like he would look at a piece of meat and it would actually be kind of unsettling if Law weren't so fucking turned on.

Kid lets out a long, slow breath, and then starts to thrust slowly, moving his hips in the steady rhythm Law feels alarmingly familiar with. He has the bizarre urge all of a sudden to laugh, but this is quickly overtaken by a loud moan as Luffy's mouth finds his cock, taking him deep with one movement and sucking him clean before pulling off with a debauched popping noise.

"Really, Luffy?" Kid laughs breathlessly, picking up the pace a little and making Law's hips judder forward and his fingers tangle into Luffy's dark and messy hair. Luffy mouths at the head of Law's cock and hums affirmatively. He sounds extremely self-satisfied, and the vibrations have Law twitching, arching, pressing back into Kid's thrusts as pleasure starts to take over any lingering discomfort.

Luffy gives head like he's got something to prove.

Law twists a little, throwing a leg back to wrap around Kid's and make it easier to grind back into every thrust, but losing any sense of timing as Luffy's mouth becomes more assertive on his cock, sinking low and wrapping fingers around the base, pumping in time with Kid.

It's all too much; Law feels like he's going to come apart at the seams, his fingers tugging and pushing alternately in Luffy's hair, caught somewhere between _yesyesmore _and _gonna lose my mind_. Behind him, he can feel Kid start to get close, his thrusts becoming more and more erratic and his breath gasping against Law's neck. Luffy seems to realize, too, because he speeds up to match Kid with his hand on Law's cock, mouthing loosely over the head and then taking him deep, choking a little when one of Kid's thrusts pushes it into the back of Luffy's throat. Law kind of wants to apologize, but Luffy just curls his tongue around the head, teasing the slit and then taking it back down again, slower this time, and swallowing around him.

Law loses his last shred of control and comes, Luffy pulling back a little just in time and swallowing around him again, running his tongue up the shaft and sucking at the head until Law starts to go soft, shaking and gasping with the aftershocks. Kid gasps as Law clenches around him when he comes, readjusting his hips and grinding in deep once, twice, before biting down hard on the juncture of Law's neck and shoulder and coming hard with a stifled groan.

They all lie there panting for a minute before Luffy's the first to move, half-sitting up and stretching so his spine cracks in about eleven different places. Then he shuffles up the bed to twine his legs with Law's and press his face against Law's neck with a contented sigh.

Law moans as Kid shifts, pulling out of him and leaving him feeling strangely empty and confused in his own skin. He reaches back and finds one of Kid's hands, twining their fingers together and trying to drag it back over himself.

"Hang on," Kid twists around, kicking the bottle of lube off the bed in his efforts to reach the bedside lamp and switch it off. "Okay," he says, collapsing back down and dragging the mess of blankets back over them before reclaiming Law's hand. "Night. Love you."

"Love you." Luffy slurs, sounding mostly asleep already.

"Yeah." Law mumbles without even thinking. He bites his lip, anxious for a second, but then wills himself to relax between them, soothed by Luffy's fingers tracing lazy patterns over his hip.

x x x

Law's vaguely aware of Luffy leaving the bed in the morning, but he's too tired to care much, his body all loose and pleasantly achey in the best places. Kid hurrumphs, still curled around him possessively, and Law strokes fingers down Kid's arm for a few seconds before passing out again.

It's probably not too much later when he's woken up again, this time by Kid's voice in his ear. "Hey, Law.. Wake up. I smell French toast."

Law opens his eyes, stretches, and then flops back down face first into the pillow.

"Law." Now Kid's poking him, finger jabbing insistently into his ribs. "C'mon. Breakfast." He's already out of bed with his pajama pants back on by the time Law sits up, cracking his back and popping his knuckles with a satisfied sigh.

"Ugh," Kid makes a face. "Between the two of you, you are like, _all _joints. That shit ain't normal."

"You're just jealous," Law yawns. "Pass me my shorts?" Kid flings them at his head, but Law catches them, tugging them on.

"Okay, I'm gonna go drink all the coffee while you're dragging your ass in here forever."

"I think after last night you should be very polite to my ass."

Kid just smirks at him pointedly before wandering off toward the kitchen.

Law waits until after he's disappeared down the hall to stand up, stretching again and running hands through his hair. He can tell it's doing its crazy thing, standing up in all directions, so he musses it a little more for emphasis before following Kid down the hall.

Luffy is standing guard over a sizzling cast iron pan full of french toast and Kid is draped against his back, by all appearances casually making out with Luffy's neck. Luffy hums in approval.

Law swallows his knee-jerk reflex for snide commentary, force of habit, and instead goes over to join them and steal Kid's coffee cup from him. "Hey," Kid protests, but his heart isn't in it.

Law takes a gulp and then chokes, making a face. "Unsweetened. You're a monster."

"And you never learn," Kid grins, reclaiming the cup and taking a long, satisfied swig.

Luffy holds his own cup out to Law. "Here." Their fingers touch around the mug for a second and Luffy smiles suddenly, darting forward and kissing Law on the mouth. "'Morning."

"G'morning." Law can feel himself blushing so he uses the excuse of taking a sip of Luffy's coffee- which is seriously more sugar than actual liquid- to hide his face. Luffy is too cute for him too handle.

"Awwwh," Kid hums indulgently. "I'll get some plates."

"Thanks." Luffy grabs him before he can move away and kisses him, too. Kid hums lower, pressing into him and sliding arms around his waist, deepening the kiss.

"We're never gonna have an unburned breakfast again," Law sighs mournfully.

Luffy laughs, breaking the kiss and pushing Kid in the direction of the cabinets before turning back to the stove. "Yeah, maybe we should hire a chef."

"We could definitely afford that," Kid deadpans, collecting cutlery and rummaging around in the fridge for the syrup and butter. "Definitely."

"Well if this keeps up"-

Law cuts Luffy off before he really realizes the words are out of his mouth. "So. This is gonna keep up? I mean. Like." He does a vague hand-wavy gesture that's meant to indicate a lot of very dirty sex, but looks more like he has a twitch.

Luffy snorts indignantly and Kid says, "Do you not want it to?"

"No!" Law says in a hurry, too loudly. "I mean yes, I do want it to. I. I really _really _do. I just... Wasn't sure you did?"

"Law." Kid sets down the plates and cutlery on the counter with a jarring _hunk _and walks over to him, reaching out and curling fingers around each of Law's elbows. Next to the stove, Luffy brandishes the spatula. "What the fuck? Did you think- what? We were gonna have some crazy threesome sex with you and then be all, 'Oh ha ha that sure was fun! Okay, now let's all forget about it'?"

"No," Law says again, but quieter this time, feeling weirdly shy all of a sudden, and also like a pod of dolphins just showed up in his stomach. "But like. I dunno. You guys are all...monogamous." He finishes lamely, finally forcing himself to look up and meet Kid's eye.

"Well yeah..." Kid concedes, "And it wasn't like we'd really planned this when we got together. Or, like, pretty much until this week, for that matter."

"God Kid, shut up," Luffy interrupts, looking simultaneously amused and exasperated. "Look, it's true that we didn't really think about this too much before- not that it didn't come up a few times- but then. The other night? When you, y'know." He waves the spatula in the direction of Law's dick. Law rolls his eyes but huffs a small laugh. The dolphins are doing backflips. "Well, we talked about it, and we realized"-

"We realized you're as much a part of this relationship as we are," Kid finishes, shooting a smug look over his shoulder at Luffy, who just raises his eyebrows in retort. "We're only sorry it took so long."

"Oh." Law says after a long moment of silence, during which Kid and Luffy both look frozen in place, waiting for his response. "Oh." He smiles a little; it feels goofy and lopsided, but he can't bring himself to care. He leans in and kisses Kid, humming contentedly when Kid's tongue darts over his lips.

There's a clatter of metal on metal and suddenly Luffy is there, too, twining arms around Law and tugging his face down for another kiss, lingering this time, and curling fingers up over the bare ridges of Law's spine. "Awesome," he murmurs against Law's mouth. And he doesn't think he will ever get sick of the way Luffy smiles, or the way Kid's hand rests possessively on his hip.

They all just kind of stand there for a minute, blinking stupidly at each other with dorky, huge grins.

Finally, Law breaks the silence. "I think we burned the French toast."

* * *

><p><strong>I think I got a new OT3. Maybe I will write more of this verse. We'll see. <strong>


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